" You do not know what have you done until it is gone far away already"- A quote i used to hear a thousand times, yet never really figured out its true meaning. It had no significance to me, until one day when my whole world fell into pieces.
I lost my mom on a gloomy afternoon in January. It was beyond a doubt, one of the most-heartbreaking things that has ever happened to me. My heart deflated at the sight of her leaving, no longer to be by my side. It was there and then when I realized that she meant the world to me.
Her passing consumed me like wild fire. I was traumatized and i became irrational. Guilt surrounded me every single day. If only i had change and power to reverse back in time and relive the moments when she was alive, i wished i spent more time with her. I wished that i have never taken her for granted.
I would have liked it if we talked more and argued less when she still here. The only thing I remembered doing was complaining to her about how tired i was. She listened never replied back, not even once. It was only a month ago when I realized that what ever pain that i had could never be same to hers.
However, the greatest thing that i wished i had done was to tell her how much i love her. Despite our constant arguing, i really did loved her with all my entire heart. I would have thanked her for all the things that she did for me. To apologize for being pig-headed and disappointing at times.
Somehow, i kept wishing that this was just a dream and beginning for me to move forward . That she will still be there for me when i wake up. But, I have to realize that and accept the faith that death does not work that way. There are somethings in this world that cannot be changed. Mom was a woman of substance. She was an amazing person and she fought for her life until the very end for rising 10 of her children. I love her and she will be in my heart forever.
End..
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